Journaling My Way Through the Bible

In Psalm 22:1-2, David is lamenting the fact the he feels like God is not near him and cannot hear his cries. I have been here many times. I have felt like the communication line between me and God has been broken. Normally it is my sin that has broken communication with God. We are not given the circumstances surrounding David's lamenting here. All we know is that he is distraught over this time in his life where he feels like God has left him. In verse 3 we learn that despite the fact that David is upset, he still trusts in God and knows that God will answer his prayers. He says, "Yet you are holy..." When I come to those times in my life where for some reason or another I feel like God is not there I need to remember that, despite my feelings and my circumstances, God IS STILL HOLY. He always has been. He always will be and he is right now. I need to remember the promise of the past and how God delivered and claim the promise that God always answers prayer. We may have...

I think the Lordis trying to tell me something. Twice today, in two separate passages, I was bombarded with the example of people sleeping in the midst of troubles. Jesus, in Matthew 8:23-27, is on a boat in the midst of a terrible storm. This had to have been bad storm because there were experienced fishermen on board who had probably seen bad storms before. Jesus slept though. He was sleeping so soundly that they had to go wake him up. In Acts 12:6-7,Peter is in prison, in chains, between two guards. He is sleeping though. He was sleeping so soundly that the angel who came to rescue him had to strike him. Now, that is a deep sleep. Both examples show someone who was in a troubling situation and needed help. Each time the help was accomplished by sleep. Each time it was a sleep that was truly from God. I need this kind of sleep tonight. I am weary and worn out. I have been dealing with letting go of a particular thing today and it has been draining. I need peace and sleep tonight. ...

Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my hear be acceptable in your sight, O LORD my rock and my redeemer. What an awesome prayer to pray. I want every word that comes out of my mouth to honor God. This is a tough one because I am so used to responding in anger and frustration. Just tonight, Esther and William were being bad and to be honest I responded wrongly. The words that came out of my mouth were not acceptable in God's sight. I had to immediately confess them and change my attitude. I know it was because I fell back into the habit of watching videos online instead of sermons and reading my Bible at night. They kept interrupting me and my plans and I got upset. Oh, I see now that it was my sin that led them to theirs. I need to realize that filling my mind with things that are not God honoring will result in speech and behavior that is not God honoring. So, here I am at 11:00 at night finally reading my Bible. I have spent most of the night wasting ...

Psalm 18:32,39 Twice in this Psalm David states that the LORD is the one who gives him strength. Actually it says that God equipped him with strength. Now I know the context of this verse is physical battles and enemies but I think we have application here as women. My enemy is just as real as an enemy I can see. For me and many women our enemy comes in the form of self-pity, fear, worry, and anger. These are all things that satan uses to discourage us and make us less effective for the work of Christ. My enemy also comes in the form of video games and the television and all the electronics in the house. They literally eat our time and cause arguing and dissension among the children. I feel some days like I cannot defeat the enemy and I spend my day in a state of depression. It is the days where I come before God and pray for His strength that I slowly conquer the enemies in my life. It is only when I do that that I have victory. If I try to do it in my own strength I will fail, 100% ...

This morning Carl request that I read Psalm 18. He said it was really good. I started reading and we were having good discussions around the breakfast table. By chance I looked at my phone and saw that Earl Weaver had died. For you southern, non baseball fans, he was the manager of the Baltimore Orioles for many years. It was when the O's were good. I was shocked because Carl and I both thought he had died years ago. I did a check online and sure enough he died. I started glancing through the article while still listening in on the discussion about Psalm. I normally don't do this but this morning I was glad I did. The article fit right in with the Psalm because it was describing a man so opposite of David. Earl Weaver was know for being a loud, brash, offensive, angry man. He holds the record for being one of the top three managers to be ejected from games. He used to get in the umpires face and being only 5'6" he would either throw his cap on the ground or turn it bac...

Psalm 16:8 I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Can I say that this is true of me? Do I set the LORD always before me? Honestly, no. Am I working on it diligently? This year, yes! I have done so much growing in this new year already. I feel his strength every day and he has given me the courage to start making some changes in our home. For one thing I am spending more time with him. I am praying more and reading my bible more. I am listening to encouraging sermons and godly music. Last night I woke up at about 4a.m. from a scary dream. I cannot remember it but it was not of The Lord. I instantly felt like I was under spiritual attack. My mind started going place that disturbed me. I got up and started crying out to God. My phone was within reach so I just grabbed it and read my Bible for a long time. I then closed my eyes and started praying for my family. It was funny because I started with Carl and went down the line. I kept...

With six boys in the house there is constantly a search for treasures going on. Just this morning i had the three little boys and Esther running around in capes brandishing swords and vanquishing the enemy to recover treasure. Outside their games consist of hide and seek and looking through the "jungle" to find buried treasure. I find it interesting that the devotions I read this morning at breakfast dealt with this issue. In Matthew 6:21 it says "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Wow! The older ones and I were able to have a good discussion about some things that I have noticed lately. We talked about video games and how electronics have overtaken our family. The kids always want to know if they can play on the Nintendo, iPad, iPod, computer, wii or the television. I am worn out from it all. We talked about how right now their treasure is in those things and how our house has not been the better for it. We have had whining, complaining, ar...

Guide me is the cry of the Ethiopian eunuch. Philip comes to him asks him if he understands the scriptures that he is reading. He says "How can I, unless someone guide me?" The thing that struck me upon reading this is the fact that my children are saying the same thing to me. I wrote in my other blog tonight about how my children walking in truth is the thing I am most praying for this year. I want to see God move in their lives. The problem is, if I do not teach them how to walk in truth then no one will. They need to see me model it. I need to be saturating their minds with scripture and god honoring music. They need to be thinking on and seeing the things of God wherever they turn. I need to be reading the scriptures to them and explaining it to them. Carl is the head of this house and he is the spiritual leader. I am not trying to usurp the job that God has given him to teach the kids about Christ. What I am talking about is taking what he has said and done and building ...

One word really struck me today. It is a word that has struck me before. It is in Psalm 13:5. David is lamenting about the situation he is in. He feels like God is not there. He is sorrowful and it looks like his enemies will prevail against him. The one word comes verse 5 where he shifts the focus of the psalm from lamenting to praise. It is the word "But." He goes from sorrow of heart to rejoicing and trusting and singing. What an awesome testimony to trusting God in our trials. We do not know what situation David was going through here but if we look at David's life and all he went through we can be sure it was a hard time for him. He trusted that God would deliver him before the deliverance was brought about. He did not rejoice WHEN he was delivered. He rejoiced BEFORE the deliverance. That is where I struggle sometimes. In the midst if my day when I am in the muck and mire of homeschooling 8 children I get easily overwhelmed and discouraged. I need to praise God in...

Okay, so I am a day behind now. So today I am actually reading January 12th passages. I find it interesting that Matthew 5:21-32 talk so much about our thoughts. Basically who we really are when no one is looking. Our thoughts show the true condition of our hearts. Sometimes I must admit that the thoughts that go through my mind startle me. I know that those thoughts are placed there by Satan. I have been intent this year about filling my life with things of God and removing the things that are not honoring to him. I have watched less television and have been listening to sermons or reading books that glorify his name. I have found that my thoughts have started to change to a desire to please him. In the passage I read today it talked about anger, lust, and divorce. All of these areas deal with the mind. Jesus says that if you even think angry thoughts toward someone that it is the same as if you had committed an act of violence against them. He says the same thing about lust. Even ...

I had an awesome opportunity this evening to share my bible reading with William and Nathan. We normally read the Psalms and Matthew passage in the morning at breakfast. This morning we did not get a chance. The boys asked if I could read it to them this evening. I ended up reading Genesis too. I was amazed at how much they are retaining from the reading. We were able to have some very good discussions about the passages. Since it is so late tonight I am going it keep this short. Tonight was my grocery shopping night so I was out late. The passage we were able to get a lot of discussion about was in Matthew. We were discussing about the person who relaxes or disobeys the commands of God and then teaches another to do the same. We discussed what an awesome responsibility they have in being big brothers. They have little eyes watching everything they do. Their habitual sins are taught to the little ones. It was a good discussion. I was also able to share with them that as a parent I have...

Yesterday I wrote about rejoicing in suffering and being considered worthy to suffer for Christ. Today I read two passages that expressed this idea again. In Matthew5:11-12, it says that we are blessed when we are persecuted for Jesus' name and should rejoice in it. Do you think The Lord is trying to tell me something? In Acts 6, I started reading about the story of Stephen. He paid the ultimate price for Christ. He died for his name. In verse 10 it states that the people belonging to the synagogue could not withstand the wisdom and spirit that Stephen was preaching with. They were jealous and Stephen paid for it with his life. He was willing to lay down his life for Christ and rejoiced in that. He was thankful that The Lord considered him worthy to suffer for Christ's name. I have not really had to suffer for my faith in Christ recently. That in and of itself tells me that I am not sharing him enough. I spend my days at home with my kids. I really don't go out many places....

I really had one verse stick out to me today. Not that everything else I read was bad. This one verse just really floored me. I know that I have read it before. This time though it just hit me. Acts 5:41 Then they left the presence of the counsel, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name. The KJV says "counted worthy to suffer shame for his name." Reading along in this chapter I was just thunderstruck. They actually were joyful about suffering for the name of Jesus. I started looking at the references that were attached to this verse and I was even more surprised. I mean every person who has attended church for any length of time knows that there are verses that talk about suffering for Christ and persecution but the concept of rejoicing while doing it is not something we wish to discuss often. Then I read 1 Peter 4:13 that says, "but rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may rejoice and be glad when his glor...

In Genesis today we have the story of Isaac's birth and the sacrifice God asked Abraham to make. Abraham's faith here is incredible. He knew God had promised that he would have lots of descendants. He also knew that the line was to come through Isaac. He knew that if he obeyed God would make a way for it all to work out. He was willing to trust God and just simply obey. That is all he was commanded to do. He did it immediately with no hesitation and no questions asked. He had so much faith that when he told his servants that he and Isaac were going up to offer sacrifices he told them that they both would return, even though he knew God had asked him to kill Isaac. He had that much faith. His obedience here is astounding. He had the knife in his hand and his son bound on the altar. His arm was in the air and ready to obey when God stopped him. Can you imagine the relief and sheer joy from Abraham and Isaac both? The obedience and trust of Isaac here amazes me to. What an amazing...

Today I was really convicted about what I read in Acts 4:22-37. I think it is because The Lord is really trying to teach me something. The bible reading today and the question I am to answer today deal with the same thing, the work of the local church. The question I am pondering is "what is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?" So as you can see, they go hand in hand. In Acts it was talking about how the church was of one heart and soul. They spoke the gospel with boldness and were filled with the Holy Spirit. It also says how they had everything in common. They shared possessions and here is the amazing thing, there was not one needy person among them. NOT ONE. Wow!!!! That is hard for me to comprehend. Whenever they saw a need the church came together and met it. Again, Wow!!!! This is not the typical actions of most churches in America. When we came to this church I was astonished at the way people came together when someone had a need. Not only wer...

Psalm 6 today was kind of depressing. He uses words like Rebuke Anger Discipline Wrath Troubled Languishing Tears Weary Mornings Grief David is crying our for deliverance. He is pleading for salvation. It just makes me kind of sad to hear David's plea. Where was he at this time in his life? What was causing him such anguish? Who were the enemies he talks about this psalm? While these questions are important I think if we dwell on them we miss the point. David hear starts out in this Psalm truly humbled and broken over sin. He is pleading with God to not rebuke or punish him in anger. Have I ever been as broken as David is here? David is so broken he is physically sick. He can't function. He is heartbroken and ashamed. He cries a flood of tears and mornings. He is grief stricken. I have to say this I don't think I have ever looked at my sin like this. I should. My sin should force me on my knees every time I get convicted. I need to confess that sn every day and ...

In psalm 5 today I was struck by what benefits come from making God our refuge. David cried out to God in the morning. He did so with words, groanings, cries, and prayers. I think it is interesting that after he prayed it says he watched. He prayed believing that God was going to answer. How many times have I left this part out of my prayers? The expectation of the answer. David calls God his refuge, his shield. What does it mean for God to be our refuge? David says that it means we rejoice and sing for joy. It also means we are protected and covered with favor. What an amazing place to be. When I find my refuge in God it is normally because of a circumstance that I am worrying about. But yet David says we are to be singing and rejoicing. That kind of changes my view of a refuge. I always looked as a refuge as almost a quiet, somber place but here David says we are to be rejoicing and singing. What I gather from this passage is that when I find myself in a place where I seek out G...

In genesis 9-11 I was reading about the instructions God gave Noah as he left the ark and the events that took place afterwards. I noticed that this is the first time where it states that animals will now fear man and will never have the kind of relationship they had before the flood. Why? What was it like before the flood? God in his wisdom knew that to get all the animals on the ark that there had to be no fear between man and the animals. How amazing is that. Can you imagine the pets people could have had. I wonder if you could just pet a lion or an alligator and not be afraid of the repercussions. What about bees? I hate bees. They turn me into a running, blubbering fool. Did they sting people before the flood? Something to ponder. One of those things that I want to find out when i get to heaven. I also noted another change. When Cain and Lamech killed a man they were sent to wander and punished but were allowed to live. After the flood it changed. The whole idea of shedding blood...

Genesis 5-8 The story of Noah is one most people are familiar with. I did notice a few things in these chapters. The first thing was about Enoch. When it listing the descendants of Noah it gives the same information for all of them. Enoch has something added to his legacy that makes him stand out. All the other men have that they lived so many years after having a son. For Enoch it does not say live. It says " walked with God". What an awesome legacy and one that I want my children and grandchildren to say about me, that I walked with God. The next thing I noticed was in verse 8 of chapter 6. It the chapter it is listing all the things that were grieving God. In verse 8 though it says "But Noah..." How awesome are those two words. They saved the world. In verse 22 of chapter 6 and verse 5 of chapter 7 we have evidence of the obedience of Noah. In the midst of a wicked generation he stood for God and built a boat in the middle of dry land. No one had even seen rai...

Matthew 1:18-25 What an honorable man Joseph was. He was a kind man. He had every right to bring Mary before the people and he could have had her stoned for getting pregnant before marriage. He truly loved her and had it in his mind to divorce her quietly. When the angel came before him he believed him and then took care of Mary as if the child was his own. He also kept Mary pure until after the baby was born. That required a lot of self control on his part. He was a strong man of godly character. Genesis 3-4 In verse 6 of chapter 3 I observe a few things. First of all, Eve looked with her eyes first at the fruit. She could have chosen to resist the temptation but she chose not just to look but to take. A lot of our sin begins with just a look and turns into full blown, blatant, purposeful defiance against God. God gives us tools to help us stop at the looking. We are to hide his word in our hearts so that when we are faced with "looking" we can resist it and turn away. T...

Well, it is the first of the year and once again it is time for new resolutions. Every year I plan on reading the bible all the way through. Some years I do great and other years I falter. Last year was a year for faltering. I really had great plans and I just allowed myself to let other things become more important than my walk with God. For the sake of my children I cannot allow that to happen this year. I have to show them the way to Christ. I know that I cannot save them. They have to make that decision on there own. I am responsible for showing them who Christ is and how to have a relationship with him. One way I need to do that is through having a consistent Bible reading and study time. So here I am again making a commitment to read every day this year. A few of the ladies at church are reading the same plan so we can hold each other accountable and discuss the things we are reading. We are reading two New Testament passages and two Old Testament passages a day. This is where I ...