A bitter wife

Yesterday I wrote about rejoicing in suffering and being considered worthy to suffer for Christ. Today I read two passages that expressed this idea again. In Matthew5:11-12, it says that we are blessed when we are persecuted for Jesus' name and should rejoice in it. Do you think The Lord is trying to tell me something? In Acts 6, I started reading about the story of Stephen. He paid the ultimate price for Christ. He died for his name. In verse 10 it states that the people belonging to the synagogue could not withstand the wisdom and spirit that Stephen was preaching with. They were jealous and Stephen paid for it with his life. He was willing to lay down his life for Christ and rejoiced in that. He was thankful that The Lord considered him worthy to suffer for Christ's name. I have not really had to suffer for my faith in Christ recently. That in and of itself tells me that I am not sharing him enough. I spend my days at home with my kids. I really don't go out many places. When I do, I need to be sharing my faith not being afraid of the persecution that will come.
I also was struck with something in Genesis. I read chapters 25-26 today. In 25:34, it talks about how when Esau sold his birthright that he despised it. He had hatred toward Jacob. I never realized what an angry, bitter man Esau was. In 26:35, it actually talks about the wives he chose. First of all, they were of the people of the world. They were Hittites. It says here that they made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah. Wow! I have never pondered that before. What must it have been like to be Rebekah and be hated by her daughter-in-laws? The Bible actually says that they had a bitter spirit. Am I a bitter wife? Do I make life hard for my family? What about my relationship with my mother-in-law? It just makes me stop and reexamine if there is any bitterness in my spirit. I have struggled with bitterness before and I do not want that sin to creep into my life again. I just need to pray that The Lord would reveal any avenues of bitterness in my life. I pray that he would give me his strength to seek out any roots of bitterness and remove them. I need to, on a consistent basis, ask God to like it says it psalm 139:23-24,
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
That is my prayer this evening.

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